Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
