But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
