I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
