the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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