You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
