Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
