So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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