There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
