Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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