it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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