Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
