now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize