I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
