During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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