i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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