I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize