sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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