fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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