What a fucking waste of an outfit
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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