my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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