It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
