Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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