I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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