Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
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I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me