if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure