I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
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I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???