My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we made out on top of his cat.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.