you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
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She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket