question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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