Porn is love you can see.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
