he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
