billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
