that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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