is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize