I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
