Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
