didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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