I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
high people should be assigned attendants
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
