Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
