Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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