I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
