I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
