I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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