stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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