Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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