I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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