That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
