there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
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