i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
