1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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