Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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