Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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