dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize