Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
