Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
