I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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