I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
