Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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