Do you still have your period?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
