so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
