Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
