dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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