And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
